Note Passing With the Cullens and One Swan
by RavenclawBeauty14
Summary: Note passing. Yeah, I know they're everywhere... Don't judge me! Edward is PMSing? Has Bella lost it? Jesus is a vampire? Tom Cruise? Halloween Horror Nights? Rated T for slight swearing in song lyrics; Canon couples.
1. That's What You Get!

Edward Bella Alice

_-flops down- Volleyball practice! W00T! Plus homework. _

_Disclaimers at the bottom._

_**00-00-00-00-00**_

**Edward** Bella _Alice_

-giggles- Yay!

**Bella… what are you on?**

_Sugar. We had a sleepover._

**You know that she can't handle lots of sugar, Alice!**

OMG RAPE! RAAAAAAPE!!

**Who raped you Bella?**

_It's a joke from last night Edward, you can stop growling now._

-smiles- Last night was fun!

…**I'm confused. Explanation please?**

_-sigh- If I must. See, Bella was lying on the bed last night listening to music._

I still don't get why you did that Alice. I was spaced out! I WAS IN MY HAPPY PLACE, DARNIT!

**Back to the story please.**

Fine, Mr. Impatient. So I'm just lying on the bed humming to myself when suddenly…

_I jump on top of her!_

And I screamed "OMG RAPE!! RAAAAAPE!!"

_Which then made me fall to the floor in laughter._

…**Why do we leave you guys alone again?**

'Cause you looooooooove me. –puppy eyes-

**True.**

_Oh my Carlisle, you two are so sappy!_

You're just angry because Jasper isn't here.

…_Touché._

…And now I'm bored.

_I know what will make you feel better!_

**-hears her thoughts- No! NONONONONONONONONONO!!**

_That's what you get when you let your heart win! _

Whoa!! That's what you get when you let your heart win.

_Whoa..._

**-shakes head- I don't want to know.**

Party pooper. Be glad Alice and I didn't break out into some song in some random language.

_-smiles- Can we? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE?!/_

Why not?

**ON SECOND THOUGHT, PARAMORE'S JUST FINE!**

Thought so.

_-sings- Could it be possible to change the color of sound?_

If you stare at the baby blue sky the memories of love will revive!

_Somewhere deep inside your heart!_

Hey, on the other side of the seven seas!

_Someone is there waiting just for you!_

**STOP!! I'LL STOP JUDGING YOUR MUSIC, JUST STOP!!**

-smiles- ily Edward.

**Love you too, Bells.**

_STOP THE LOVEY-DOVEY-NESS!! IT BUUUUUUURNS!!_

Love you too Alice.

_-smiles- I know you do. 'scause I'm awesomefuliscious._

**Alice says what now?**

Awesome. Ful. Lishious. Jeez, pay attention Edward.

**-shakes head- You're incredible Bella.**

-strikes a pose- Yeah, I know.

_-grins- 'swhy she's my asawbfflaebwashaatc._

**Excuse me?**

-rolls eyes- Awesomely Super And Wild Best Friends For Life And Eternity Because We Are Super Hot And All That Crud.

**-confused- I see…**

-giggles- We confused Eddie!

**-growl- Don't call me that.**

Fine. ILY Edward. ILY Alice.

**ILY Bella, with all of my existence.**

_ILY Bells._

_**-00-00-00-00-00-00**_

_ILY readers! ILY even more if you reviewed, though!_

_I don't own Twilight, Paramore, or the English translation of Ever Blue._

_Yeah… I'm probably boring you so I'm just gonnashutuupnowokaybye._


	2. Edward is PMSing?

_-yawn- 1:00 AM. W00T. At lease I don't have school tomorrow._

_**0-00-00-00-00-0**_

**Edward **Bella _Alice_

To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right

_To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left_

Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick

_Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself_

Whoo! –boogies-

…**Explaination?**

-le gasp- Eddie's never heard of the Cupid Shuffle?!

_-laughs- Eddie is very culturally deprived._

**-growl- My name is not EDDIE!!**

-pouts- Please?

**No.**

_Do you like it though?_

**See my previous answer.**

Awwwww…

_C'mon Eddie! Do the Cupid Shuffle with me!_

**No thanks, love. I'm happy here on the couch.**

-sticks tongue out- Fine. To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right…

_-giggles- She's been doing that all morning._

It was playing at that party at the bookstore!

**What party? **

_Some book release or something._

Whatever! Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick…

**-sigh- Why can't she sing something normal?**

Since when has the concept of normal applied to me?

**True.**

You want normal?

_-smiles- Wow Bella._

**-ignores Alice- Yes, please.**

-smiles- Ready Alice?

_Ready Bella!_

I kissed a girl and I liked it

_The taste of her cherry chap-stick_

I kissed a girl just to try it

_I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
_

**ON SECOND THOUGHT, BE WEIRD!**

Limm, torturing Eddie with songs is fun.

**Limm?**

_Laughing In My Mind, dufus._

...Have you noticed that both of our notes involve songs?

…_OMC!! WE'RE PREDICTABLE!!_

…**Is that a bad thing?!**

Yes!... PRAYING NORWEGIAN GOATS!!

**-stares-**

_Much better._

Ooh! I've got another song idea!

_LIMM! We dedicate this to you, Eddie._

**Great.**

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

_You're yes then you're no  
_

You're in then you're out

_You're up then you're down  
_

You're wrong when it's right

_It's black and it's white  
_

We fight, we break up

_We kiss, we make up_

**-growl- I am not bipolar.**

_The second line reminds me of you the most, Eddie!_

Hey, no bashing Edward!

**I'm afraid to ask… what're the lyrics?**

_It goes: Yeah you, PMS, Like a bitch, I would know_

**-snarl- I don't PMS!**

-hugs- I know Edward. It's a joke.

_All we need now is twenty eccentric Praying Norwegian Goats, twelve paintball guns, a bag of water balloons, some scuba equipment, and a fluent French-speaking Russian duck, and operation "Take Over The World" can commence!_

-high fives- Yesh.

**You two will never cease to amaze me.**

Good.

_**0-00-00-00-00-00-0**_

_I feel compelled –coughcoughambeingforcedcoughcough- to mention that the RAAAAAAPEE!! Thing of last chapter was a true story. Tempy was sleeping over and she tackled me, which freaked me out._

_-yawn- It is 1:44 AM. And with these final sentences, I am going to put Beautiful Wish by Seira on repeat and pass out._

_I don't own Hot n' Cold, I Kissed A Girl, the Cupid Shuffle, or Twilight._

_REVIEW, MY PRETTIES!! –witch cackle-_

_Um… yeah… I'm ranting so I'm gonnashutupnowbye._


	3. Jesus is a WHAT!

Addressing a review that thinks that this is exactly like something they've read: I'm trying not to copy some of the other not

_Addressing a review that thinks that this is exactly like something they've read: I'm trying not to copy some of the other note-passing stories I've read, but between all of my classes, homework, volleyball practice, city softball leagues, and my pitiful attempts at a social life, things continue to slip through my sleep-deprived brain's cracks. Most of the things I write about are inside jokes from school, such as the Jesus joke from this chapter. If anything is nearly identical to something you've read, show me what I did wrong and I will fix it. _

_But please don't go 'OMG!1!1!!11!!1!!1 Ur such a copekat 4 using –insert idea- cuz I red sumthin lyke tht in a different storie!! Omg ur plagerizng!! Im gonna report u!!11!!1!!1!!11' Give me a reasonable argument in PROPER ENGLISH. A story name or author name would help. Thank you._

_Disclaimer:… -yawn- Oh, I'm sorry? Did you want me to say that I don't own Twilight in some way that is remotely interesting?_

_0-00-00-00-00-0_

_Alice _Bella **Edward**

Jesus is a vampire!

…**Excuse me?**

He died and then rose THREE DAYS LATER!! Sound familiar?

_OME!! BELLA YOU ARE SMARTICAL!! I NEVER SAW THAT!!_

-bows- Thank you.

…**Not going to ask.**

Ouchie! –wince- Stupid soft balls.

**-shocked- W-WHAT?!**

_I threw a softball at her, Edward._

Warning would have been nice, Ali!

_Hmm… Ali. I like it!_

-pouts- What, no nickname for me?

_Hmm… I dub ye… BELLABONG!!_

…**Bellabong?**

You're naming me after a SURFING COMPANY?!

…**I'm confused.**

_You know. Billabong? Bellabong?_

Not talking to you Ali.

_-frown- Why not?!_

'Cause you enjoy making fun of my klutziness.

_Do not… Ok, maybe a little._

**Stop messing with my fiancée, Alice.**

_And here comes Mr. Overprotective._

**Am not!**

Sorry, Edward, but you are.

**Gee, love you too.**

-hiss- Alice, what did you put on my lips? It's burning.

_Oh, that's just lip plumper. You'll get used to it in about an hour._

…And what does lip plumper do, Alice?

_It burns, but it makes your lips swell!_

And why do I need this? It hurts…

**Alice, take that stuff off of my Bella.**

_Fine, party pooper. C'mon upstairs Bella._

Thank you Alice!

**What, no recognition for me?**

-doe eyes- ILY Edward. Thank you for saving me from the horrors of lip plumper.

**-rolls eyes- Go get that crud off of your lips.**

-salutes- Sir, yes sir!

0-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-0

_-salutes- Layla requesting reviews, sir/ma'am!_

_I don't own any lip plumper myself, but Tempy and I were hanging out in a make-up store Monday, and as a joke, I put some lip plumper on. About an hour later, I was wondering what had possessed me to try some of that crud… Yeah…_

_Imgonnashutupanddomyhomeworknowokaybyebye!_


	4. EW! EWEWEWEWEWEWEW!

-staring into space-

_My knees…… Oh the pain…… I had a double-header volleyball game today on a CONCRETE COURT!! My hands and knees are killing me from falling and diving for the ball, and I had already scraped up my knees by falling dramatically to my knees in drama class today…_

_If anyone's curious, we lost both matches, but won the first set in the first match! _

_Sorry if my extraordinarily annoying volleyball talk is confusing anyone…_

_Disclaimer: -groans- I'm too sore to move, let alone explain to everyone that I don't own Twilight…_

**0-00-00-00-00-00-00-0**

**Edward **Bella _Alice_

-staring into space-

**Bella?**

_She's scarred… and so am I…_

**Bella, are you ok?**

-shocked-

**Alice, what's wrong with her?!**

_Newton…_

**WHAT DID HE DO?!**

_He… He…_

He dropped his pants in front of us!! It was gross!!

_Really, REALLY gross!_

……………………**.**

I think we put him into shock…

_I do too…_

…………**. –growl-**

Well, that proves that he's alive…

**How dare that piece of-**

_Language, Edward._

**-snarl-**

-pouts- If it makes you feel any better, I kicked him and walked away…

…**WHERE did you kick him?**

-embarrassed- Do I have to say?

_-grin- She kicked him where it hurts!_

**-wince- I kinda feel sorry for the guy now.**

He dropped his underwear too.

**Moment over. –growl- He's dead when I see him.**

_He's not worth it._

Seriously.

**-frown- But it would make ME feel better.**

Edward…

**-sigh- Fine.**

Thank you!

_-sigh- Why do teachers give us all this useless homework?_

Haven't you heard, Ali? High school was invented to torture innocent teens.

**-laughs- If you can find me one innocent mind in that purgatory called school, I'd love to meet them.**

_I'm sure Bella's mind is nice and innocent._

Umm….

_Bella, why are you blushing?_

**-groans- Not you too Bella!**

Well, it's very hard to keep my mind out of the gutter when my only other option is listening to my teacher's boring speeches!

_-shivers- Oh Edward, ew!_

What Alice?

**You tell her and I will personally rip you apart and burn you.**

_His decisions are worse than your thoughts!_

**ALICE!!**

…-blush-

**I'm sorry, love. I just… erm…**

_-rolling on the floor-_

It's fine Edward. Do you wanna go listen to some music or something?

**-smiles- Yeah, c'mon. **

_-watching Bella and Edward leave- Guys? GUYYYYYYYYYS!! DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE!!_

**0-00-00-00-00-00-00-0**

_Ta-da! Yeah… Just review please._

_I'm going to go do all of my reallyannoyinghomeworkbeforeIfailsookaybye._


	5. WHY were you LATE?

_We WON!! –flops down on my bed in pride- We won our first volleyball match! And I ACTUALLY PLAYED FOR ALMOST THE ENTIRE GAME!!_

_I ish one happy girl! –dances-_

_Disclaimer: Too busy doing my happy dance to spend time mentioning that I don't own Twilight!_

_Written in my scribble journal during science class._

**0-00-00-00-00-00-00**

**Edward **_Alice _Bella

-air hug- I missed you.

**I missed you t-**

_Bella, we were only gone for one class period!_

B-but Aliiiiiiiii… That's too long!

**I agree with Bella.**

-smile- I love you.

**I love you too.**

_Again I say it… Stop the lovey-doveyness! It buuuuuuuurns!_

-rolls eyes- Ignoring that.

_Heeeeeeeeey!!_

I'm joking. You know I love you.

_Love you too, Bellabong. Now I think that Eddie is feeling rather ignored._

**I'm FINE, Alice.**

-kiss- Better?

**-smile- Much.**

_-rolls eyes at the musheyness-_

Oh hush, you………….. What was that about the Dome of the Rock?

_Something about Jews sneaking to the top._

They're like ninjas, only Jewish. They're ninJews!

_-giggle-_

**-smile- Very funny, Bella.**

-bows- Thank you!

_-sings-  
__Lolli Lolli Lolli Lolli  
Let me see you pop that body_

-sings along-  
Lolli Lolli Lolli Lolli  
Let me see you pop that body…

…**How much sugar and/or caffeine have you had today, Bella?**

Just five cups of coffee, two Vaults, a Monster, three expresso shots, and five pixie sticks, why?

**-wide eyed- Dear Carlisle, help us.**

-smiles- What?

_-laughs- We're in for one WILD ride…_

-stares at the clock- Ring, bell, ring!

_Ten minutes, Bella. Be patient._

**Are you really in THAT big of a hurry to get away from us?**

No… but lunch is next, and I skipped breakfast today, so I'm hungry!

**Bella, you shouldn't have skipped breakfast. It's bad for you.**

Well, I was going to be late this morning because SOMEONE was hunting and I had to drive myself to school.

_We're sorry. Emmett found some bears and wanted to stay later._

-pouts- Then you should have ditched him.

**-sheepish- I didn't exactly want to leave either. There were a lot of mountain lions out today.**

Love you too, Edward. –sarcasm-

_Five minutes left._

**I had a good reason!**

-glare- I'm listening.

**I wanted to… um… do I have to explain?**

I guess that you don't love me anymore. –turns away-

**Bella!**

-pouts- Not listening.

**I… um… I wanted to try something with you, and I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't hurt you!**

……………..-blush-

_60 seconds…_

**I'm sorry. Bella. I really am.**

Don't be. It's fine.

_30 seconds…_

**I'll see you at lunch, Bells.**

-growl- Don't call me that.

**Fine.**

Love you.

**Love you too.**

_5… 4… 3… 2… 1… There's the bell!_

Bye guys!

**0-00-00-00-00-00-00**

R and R please!!


	6. Lady Marmalade?

Ugh

_**Ugh! I've been soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo busy! Volleyball practice is exhausting. But we've won, like, five games out of the nine or ten we've played, so I'm happy.**_

_**Disclaimer: To exhausted to explain to everyone that I don't own Twilight.**_

Bella **Esme **_Alice _Rosalie

Um… Alice, Rose, why am I dressed like a stripper?

_Cuz' a) You've been wanting to do this ever since you saw Moulin Rouge._

b) Alice and I were bored.

_And c) We wanted to see Edward's face!_

I have to admit, it was hilarious!

His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head!

_And his mouth dropped!_

Not to mention…

ROSE!

_-giggle- You're way too innocent, Bellabong._

Heyyyy… I want a nickname!

Hmm… Rosalie needs a nickname, Ali!

_Yush, she does… Any ideas?_

None.

Well I feel loved.

We'll call you Rosie until inspiration strikes.

_Ali-Ali-Ali-WHOO!_

Belly-Belly-Belly-BOO!

Rosie-Rosie-Rosie-POSIE!!

_Yayz!_

So we're doing Lady Marmalade, right?

Yush, we are.

But aren't there four parts?

_Esme can do a part._

So we're going to dress Esme up as a stripper too?

Yeah, basically.

_Works for me._

But how are we gonna convince Esme?

_Easy._

We rope Carlisle into watching.

…Why didn't I think of that?!

Let's go get Esme!

I'll be here.

_Onward CHAAAAARGE!!_

La de da…

Waiting for the girls…

Peace, pot, tequila, shot,

Jesus loves you, stoned or not.

Sex, drugs, rock and roll,

Speed, weed, birth control.

Party hardy, drink Bacardi,

Smoke a bowl and have a party,

Smirnoff's good, sex is great,

Don't hate, appreciate.

_Lovely poem Bellabong._

**So why are we doing this again?**

Cuz' we're bored.

And we want to see they guys' reactions.

**I'm in. Let's go!**

Whoo!! –runs off to the stage-

…**How much sugar has she had Alice?**

_Just a couple dozen pixie sticks, no big deal. _

(After the performance)

That was fun! And I didn't trip in my stripper heels!

Surprise, surprise…

Hey!

Sorry, Bells. I love you.

Love you too… Hey, where's Esme?

_You don't want to know. –shiver-_

OMC, did you see their faces?

_I know! I almost couldn't sing, I was laughing so hard._

And Edward's face when you started your part, Bella? PRICELESS!!

I wish I had a digital camera!

Or a video camera!

_-smiles- Always trust the psychic to provide. _

OMC, you mean…?

_Yup! I have it recorded! –pulls out a DVD-_

You're awesome Alice!

Let's watch it!

_-grabs Bells- C'mon!_

Ack!

Wait up! I'm coming too! –runs-

_-grin-_

_**The end!**_

_**Yeah, so… review!**_


	7. How does EDWARD look like TOM CRUISE?

Bored. Very bored.

I just had a ton of stuff going on, including my birthday, costume shopping, and doctor's appointments. I needed a meningitis shot and a iron level check in my blood. My blood smells horrible and the little poke in your finger stings majorly.

Disclaimer at bottom.

Bella _Alice _**Emmett Rosalie**

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Alice!

_Bella!_

Alice!

_Bella!_

Alice!

_Bella!_

**EMMETT!**

-looks at Emmett-

_-looks at Emmett-_

**… What? A vamp can't scream-write his name once in a while?**

No.

_No._

**-pouts- I don't like you.**

Sooo…..

_Hmmm…._

**Well…**

I'm out of topics…

_Ooh! How about we cast the family for a movie!_

Ok. Who would play Esme?

_Carmen Electra!_

Seriously?

_Eh, idk. Just sounded good._

What about Edward?

**That one's simple. TOM CRUISE!**

-blinks-

_-dies laughing-_

WHAT?!

**Why not?**

Only if Alice is played by Tinkerbelle.

_The fairy from Peter Pan?!_

Yup.

… _H'okay._

**What about me?!**

… I think you should just… erm…

_Nobody's big enough to be you!_

Except Felix.

_And that would just be creepy._

**-pouts- Nobody loves me…**

_Yeah, basically._

-hugs Emmett- I'm sorry Smokey. I won't make fun of you any more.

**Smokey?!**

You know like "Only you can prevent forest fires."

… _He reminds me more of Koda._

Yes! Koda! We dub ye… Koda!

**… Alright then.**

**What are you guys doing to my husband?**

Nothing!

_We found him a nickname though._

**What is it?**

KODA!

**Aww… Like the little bear from Brother Bear?**

Mhmm…

_What should Jazzy's name be?_

… Oh! That one little kitten from The Aristocats!

_Oh yeah! Um…_

**Err…**

_TOULOUSE! We can call him Toulouse!_

**Which just leaves Edward.**

_Pfft. He's easy…_

I call him Simba all the time.

**Simba?**

You know, because he likes lions so much. He calls me Nala too.

_Aww… Really?_

Mhmm... "My little lioness, Nala." It's so sweet.

**Aww… that really is cute.**

_That's adorable._

I love it.

**Can we get off of this discussion about my brother now?**

Why, jealous?

**Maybe…**

_New topic!_

Don't want to be an American idiot.

_Don't want a nation under the new media_

**And can you hear the sound of hysteria?**

**The subliminal mind -- America.**

I'm bored again.

_Me too**.**_

**Me three. Hey Emmett… do you wanna…**

**Sure. –picks her up and gone-**

I'm gonna go see of Edward wants to… um… do something… with me. –gone-

_…C'mon! STOP LEAVING ME HERE ALONE!!_

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I don't own Twilight, the Aristocats, The Lion King, Green Day, Brother Bear, or Smokey the Bear.

Review please!


	8. Halloween Horror What?

Disclaimer at bottom.

Bella _Alice_ Rosalie**Edward ****Emmett**_**Jasper**_

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

WHY THE HECK DID YOU PEOPLE DRAG ME THERE?!?!?!

**You needed a healthy dose of fear.**

Yet notice that Emmett screamed more often than I did.

**Hey!**

Sorry Em, but it's true.

But when did I ever voice a hidden desire to be dragged to Florida to go to HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS?!?!

**Umm…**

Err….

**Uh….**

_It was Edward's idea!_

**Hey!**

I KNEW it!!!!

**I thought we agreed that we weren't telling Bella that!**

_Hey, she's my asawbfflaebwashaatc. You're just my brother._

What Alice said… I think.

So nice to know that my family plots about me behind my back.

… **I love you Bella?**

Not gonna work. Especially when you kept purposely trying to scare me!!!

Want me to hurt him?

Yes please.

**Hey!**

She was at least nice. When we got out of The Hallows, she was nice enough to hit that pressure point at the back of my neck so that my world would stop spinning. What did YOU do that was nice to me, huh ED?!

**Erm…**

Exactly. You're a BAKAYARO!!!!

**H- wait, what?**

Alice is teaching me terms in different languages. Why?

**And the first thing she taught you is THAT?!?!**

Mhmm… Why??

**ALICE!!!!!**

_Yesh?_

**You taught her THAT?!?!**

_What difference does it make? It's not like anyone but us knows what that means._

Ok, I'm going to ask you why again, and this time you're going to tell me.

**You do know what that means, right?**

Mhmm…

**Then why would you call me that?**

'Cause you're acting like it.

**New topic please! Preferably before Bella crushes Edward's unbeating heart.**

Um… My Halloween costume makes me look like a stripper?

**WHAT?!?!?!**

She's not lying.

_She can't even bend over, the skirt's so short._

……………**..**

_**-shivers- Ew. Please control your emotions.**_

**-laughs- Poor widdle Eddie's having a lust problem!!**

**Shut… Up…**

-giggles- Especially at the Halloween fair in Port Angeles, remember?

Oh yeah! You left your purse in the car!

_So you just started throwing your money in your bra._

…………………

**Whoo! Go Bel-la…**

And then that icky drunk guy tried to hit on me!

_Oh yeah. That was while Rose and I were on the Orbiter, right?_

Mhmm… He reeked of alcohol!

…………………**.**

I think we just gave Edward a heart attack…

Nah, I think he's just still not over your keeping money in your bra.

… -blush- Well, where else was I supposed to keep it?

_Point._

Back to the original point of this note… WHY DID YOU DRAG ME TO HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS?!?!?!?!?!

_Umm…. 'cause it looked fun?_

_**Yeah, you have to ad-**_

**How short is short?**

**He SPEAKS.**

Um… A little shorter than mid-thigh?

**And… WHO got this for her?**

_I got it._

… **WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED!?**

… _Are you her keeper?_

**No. I just would have liked to see it on her.**

Would you like to see it now?

**REALLY?! I mean, uh… sure, why not?**

Then I'll meet you upstairs. –gone-

**-gone-**

_**Whoa, look at that boy run.**_

_Hey Jazzy…_

_**-scoops her up and is gone-**_

Emmett?

**You know it. –gone-**

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

_**I own zip. I do own Bella's costume though. Review!!!!**_


End file.
